Ah, yes. KcottS. Where do we begin? Like all good stories, we should begin and the beginning. This tale begins one day in the year 2001. It was early that year (or 2002, like I remember) and people were happily chatting away in a land far, far away. . . ok, it was #monkeeschat on webmaster but some of them were far away from me anyway. Where was I? Ah yes, an evil troll by the name of KcottS did come onto the kingdom of webmaster and issue a system message that read:

"Happy Birthday [someone]"

The gallant knight and protector of #monkeeschat did take offense to this system message...ok, ok, it was Bard but he's almost gallant? This knight did post a topic in the land of monkee that questioned the troll and asked of the troll why we cared who's birthday it was. The troll did come onto the land of monkee and proclaim that the kingdom of webmaster was his and his alone and we all had to bow to his trolly goodness or else. Of course, the gallant knight bard and the sorceresses vixen and torky did object and did say onto the troll that they believe in freedom of speech. After kicking them all out of the kingdom for a minute, the troll left and was not to be heard from again on that day. But, my children do not think he was vanquished! Do not think we are safe from his stench! He would return months later to annoy again, as trolls often do.

This time, he would return because the gallant knight would again post a topic about the troll. This time, however, it was harmless and not meant to offend. The topic for the land of monkees read, "KcottS and Derek: Switched at Birth?" The troll did find great offense to that, even though he had no idea what it referred to or what it meant. However the troll, using his troll-ly magic, did change the topic and upset the people of the land of monkees once again. The people rebelled. They changed the topic again, this time to something that was meant to rattle the troll from his mighty cage (ok, he's a little man so it wasn't so mighty, but "weenie cage" doesn't sound as poetic) : "The topic was changed because KcottS didn't like what Bard put. (Magnolia) So much for "freedom of speech", I guess it's only "freedom of speech as long as KcottS likes it."

This did anger the troll. Instead of acting like a proper ruler of a kingdom, the troll came into the land of monkee in arms!

* KcottS (KcottS@24.53.228.Sh06 =) has joined #monkeeschat
Bard: Hi Scott!!!!
Vixen: gees
KcottS: I could have easily CLOSED the fscking channel, you lame-ass morons
Vixen: is that the way for an IRCOP to talk?
Vixen: Aren't you supposed to be diplomatic? Just curious
KcottS: I think the opers of this channel need to visit a neuro-proctologist
Vixen: it was a joke. Buy a sense of humor from ebay.
KcottS: I think maybe you should too.
Vixen: it's the truth, you came in and changed the topic because you didn't like the one we had
KcottS: And tell me how that was "humerous"??
Vixen: because you've harrassed us before and Derek was harrassing us then...it was funny to whomever put it up.
* BardGaijin raises hand and whistles quietly
Vixen: I don't think I saw said topic, did I? I heard about it though...
KcottS: that suits me fine
Vixen: Why do you care?

But the troll never answered the question about why he cared about something so small. The land of Monkee pondered a few theories. Sometimes trolls buy cars and run IRC networks when they can't please a trollette. Sometimes trolls do these things when they feel insignificant at their jobs (even trolls have jobs, catching rats and such). Sometimes trolls just do these things because they are too ignorant to do otherwise. The land puzzled but they would never know the real reasons why.

The land only puzzled for a few hours and very soon uprooted their towns people to a new kingdom. They were met at this new kingdom with open arms and they learned that the old kingdom sucked anyhow! How could they have stayed there this long? But, children, this was not the end of the troll! The troll would turn up again to play with the kingdom of monkee, even though he should have stayed in his kingdom and played with himself, like normal.

You see, the sorceress vixen kept a log of all her exploits (however they lame they be, she never claimed other wise) and the troll KcottS discovered this log while searching for his name a few months after the events. What a nice life it must be to keep looking for references to yourself. I envy the person who only has to that to do! Anyway, he addressed the log of the sorceress and called her a loser for posting about it to inform the townspeople the night that it happened. The sorceress was amused and bewildered. She thought they were rid of the troll. After reading that, however, the towns people knew that the troll had nothing better to do than to bother them and they would probably hear from him forever.

As a matter of fact, I bet he's reading this right now. There will be more chapters to the story of KcottS. Mark my words.